The Girl With The Tattoo Of My Face On Her Vaj

Fans.

What a luxury.  Having support (of any kind) in your life is such a privilege. Having support for your work from virtual strangers is like having a secret weapon.  It can be mind-blowing.   My experience of fans has run the gamut from spectacular to scary and sometimes, outright looney-tunes.  It is always a bit surreal.

One of the complicated realizations is despite how great your work may have been…the reason a fan becomes a fan may have nearly nothing to do with you.   It’s about how you made them feel about themselves.   How the story you helped tell affected their life.  How the character you played resonated with them, represented them, inspired them and supported them at a tough time.    It is both an incredibly intimate relationship, and entirely outside of you.

When I meet fans, they sometimes shake and cry and are unable to speak.  Sometimes they are enthusiastic, funny, sweet and are fantastic to talk to.  Sometimes they treat me like crap in what seems to be an effort to appear very cool.  (“ya, I want your autograph, but its not like I care, its for a friend, I’ve never seen your work, I actually think that show was stupid.” Did they also wear that Xena t-shirt and chakram necklace because of how much they hate the show??)

Sometimes they are insanely inappropriate:

Them:  Hey, can I take a picture with you?
Me: Sure
Them:  (being completely serious) Can you lift your shirt up and flash the camera?
Me:  Haha, no.
Them:  Uh.Ok, fine.
Photo is taken…they start walking away, I overhear them say ‘What a bitch’.

Yep. That’s me. The bitch who won’t flash her ta-ta’s for your cell phone cam shot.      Also the bitch that won’t kiss you, won’t give you her phone number/hotel room number or and won’t meet you later for a drink. Sorry, creepy dude. But I admire you had the guts to ask.

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Sometimes they transcend fan and become a personal lifelong friend.

Sometimes they are stalkers (Don’t even want to go into details, other than it SUCKS and is very scary.)

Sometimes they bring you super sweet gifts or make you amazing (or hilarious) art:

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Sometimes they stick their camera underneath the bathroom stall door to try to get a picture of you.   AAAAaaaaahhhhh.

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Sometimes when you are at your lowest point, and nearly ready to give up – they remind you that you are GOOD at what you are trying to do.   Or when you feel like your work is silly – they remind you what an impact it can have.

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Sometimes they send mail.  It comes in all shapes and sizes from sweet notes, to icky propositions to completely mistaking who you are and what you do.  (“Hi, I LOOOOOVED you as  Jenny on The L Word.”  Umm, I was never on The L Word.)

The relationship is a mystery. Amazing, and also completely strange.  Validating.  Disconcerting. A blessing.  I’d say 98% of the time its great.  I am appreciative of my fans every day.   I know it could all stop at any moment.  And in this new day and age where the industry is changing so fast – fans have more power than they’ve ever had before.   Power to get projects funded, get them on the air, get them publicity and attention they would otherwise miss.   The importance of the relationship can’t be denied.  {speaking of which, y’all feel free to pimp out my blog!}

It’s also a great lesson: Never underestimate the role you play for someone else.  Be careful with your words.   Be present with the people you are in the presence of.  Some of the smallest moments between people can be the most profound.  Even when your interaction seems small, it can have a remarkable effect on someone’s life.

Back to the headline.   So there I was at a personal appearance – making the rounds at a meet and greet.   I’m approaching a table of boisterous ladies when I spy a one of them with several sci-fi and fantasy characters prominently tattooed on her back and arms.   When I comment on them, several people at the table start egging her on to show me ‘the other one’.  After hemming and hawing bashfully for a minute, she decides to be brave and go for it.   I have no idea what to expect…maybe she has the Xena logo?  Maybe I ❤ Livia?   No….I wasn’t in the ballpark of what was about to happen.   She stands and to my horror and amusement starts unzipping her pants.  I start to look around nervously….umm, what is happening?   She pulled her pants down a few inches, then starts to also pull her undies down as well (wait, what!?) she pull them down far enough for me to see the top of the tattoo – my character Livia, MY eyes staring back at me from her crotch.  Yes, my face on her va-jay-jay, her kitty, her holy grail.   This is where I stopped her.  I wasn’t sure I wanted to know exactly what I/Livia was doing to her most delicate lady bits below the belt.   I didn’t want that image burned into my brain for all eternity.   Though for the record I’m sure Livia was thorough and talented 🙂  So… somewhere out there is a lovely girl walking this world with my face permanently stationed between her thighs…how supremely odd that I’m so intimately and forever connected to a virtual stranger.   Gotta love commitment like that!

No idea how you could top that one.   Fans…you are the bomb!

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11 thoughts on “The Girl With The Tattoo Of My Face On Her Vaj

  1. It is important to note that there is a HUGE difference between FAN and FANATIC. Anyone who seriously crosses the personal space line and certainly those that become downright scary – they have crossed into the BAD place of FANATIC. A real FAN does not support FANATIC behaviour, and would, in fact, be the first to inform the FANATIC they crossed a line.

  2. Somewhere here in MO half our family read this and passed out. LOL!! Having attended one your fan events, I see where this could happen.

  3. That was hilarious, touching, honest and,again, hilarious. You have to be pretty hardcore fan to put Livia in her hohaa! Love the part when you said that is not the actor but the caracter they play what touches us. I found out thats very true.

  4. Wow. I think that tops any other experience I have ever heard anyone tell. Still, mad props for the girl to be um…hard set on being an unforgettable fan :). This post is refreshing for me, especially after I have seen far too many people lately being unnecessarily rude & demeaning to actresses for the roles they portray because of that “connection” they feel. I hate seeing it, people taking their frustrations out on others, when the rest of us are shaking our heads trying to remind them of the person beneath the characters they portray in the stories they tell. I hope you never lose this wonderful positive perception of the people who admire your work and that you never forget we are out there rooting for you, hoping you find that next great story to tell :).

  5. It’s probably one of the most hilarious and funny posts I’ve ever read. To be left open-mouthed. It would be nice to know how many colours your face changed in that moment 🙂 The bitter note of the story of the flashing is so absurb that can only be true. Blood has two ways 🙂 : to brain or… downwards, and unfortunately in some kind of people it would not go upwards even using a lift. Regard for the person who uses her time with yet another “cheese” and for yourself just by saying that not being a candid camera actor, not reached. You know, it’s often “a risk” to go beyond a certain character to talk or know a famous actress, actor, singer or whatever because you created in your mind your own idea of her/him and maybe it can crash against a wall finding out you were wrong. I am sure all your fans (without the “atic”) felt the opposite experience, because the way You treat people goes beyond the expectations. And if I am not the less self confident guy between all of them, your post invites to look inside to check if or how many nonsense we may have said, sin of over-enthusiasm and astonishment for the endurance, respect and heart You address to us all. As usual You teach and help us wth a smile. By the way… ouch, a tattoo must hurt in THAT place! 🙂

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