Hmmmmmm

I found this interesting:

“This is the difficult truth of the artistic situation, particularly in the performing arts: Our choices define us and decide our fates. This is both a criticism and a confession: I have made my poor choices, and I strongly accept that I deserved what I got. There is a belief, calcified into holy writ, that one must work; one must generate interest and heat in one’s career. This attitude leads people to keep working, even when they know that the play or the film is bad; the director is a moron; their costar is a simpleton. The childlike belief is that all work is good, because it leads to more work. However, in the process of continually or regularly doing poor plays with bad people, you become this thing: Your DNA is altered by virtue of the work you have run through your body and your mind. Far more than your resume is stamped. But what are people to do? Rent must be paid. One has to eat. I have known visual artists who work as typists or retail clerks. Perhaps more actors should do this rather than the bad plays, but who am I to judge them? I’ve believed that I could alter or save bad work, and I was wrong, and my DNA bears the scars of the bad work. More talents than you can imagine remain undeveloped or become discarded because they were put into circulation merely to work and to be seen and to buy groceries when they should have been placed in the service of good work. But how do we alter this? There’s your question. And I can’t answer it.” Arthur Penn/Interview with James Grissom/2006. From the forthcoming “Artistic Suicide.”
Advertisements

Being a Hepburn in a Hilton World

This is the title of a book I haven’t read, but fully assume I would love….because I instantly adore the title.    It resonates with me completely.

I love being an actress….but I sometimes hesitate to say I’m an actress.   It often opens up a somewhat awkward situation.   If the person I’m talking to doesn’t already know my work then I am usually asked to run down a list of some of my most popular projects and they may not have seen any of them, or worse don’t remember me… and it just sort of bites – and is awkward and anticlimactic for all involved.  Many people are instantly charmed by the idea of meeting someone ‘famous’ (to whatever degree) but that can quickly turn to disappointment if you haven’t worked on their favorite show or are unwilling to spill any gossip.   But the bigger reason I often refrain from chatting up my profession is that if people aren’t already familiar with your work they think either ‘oh, she’s a wannabe actress’ – Cue the old joke:

Image

or many people hear the word  actress and  they picture this:

Image

or this:

Image

or (insert tabloid cover of some wannabe starlets life mid-meltdown, here: _______________).

And its true those “actresses” exist…..but I’m happy to report that I don’t really know any of these women… and it makes my skin crawl to think of being potentially perceived that way.  That is not who I am drawn to or who I draw to me.  And doesn’t represent my LA experience at all.  Though I know those ‘actresses’ exists – probably in the tens of thousands in LA, truthfully, I have almost no experience with these women. I hate being lumped into that category…and until you ‘make it big’ there is always a segment of the population that may choose to see you this way.

Who I do know…. are fiercely talented, creative, inspiring women that bring it!  Some are famous, some have been famous, some are on the upswing and some coming back down, some just digging in their heels, trying to get established….but they are all driven, determined and focused on the prize…which is the work.    They force me to get up and be creative and get stuff done…because that’s what they are doing.

They aren’t slyly marketing a sex tape or dating some disaster in the calculated risk that the benefits would out-weigh the horror of such a decision.   No, they are writing films, creating shows, putting on plays, directing their own projects, and thinking outside of the box.  They are doing what has to be done to continue to pursue their art and passion.  They are COORDINATING with each other instead of attempting to step on each other.

And I Love that.  Love with a capitol L and in bold and underlined.  I don’t want to ‘win’ in this career by being good at something where most people are lazy or boring or predictable.  No.  I want to excel in a field where the cream is rising to the top and we are all putting out our best – pushing each other to be more innovative, passionate, focused and brazen in our willingness to do it ourselves if the opportunities aren’t being given to us.  To be more than we even thought possible.  Each day, to be better and stronger and braver than we were the day before.

Image

When I think of an actress, I think of this:

Image

or this:

Image

or  (insert Oscar winning, humanitarian, philanthropic, witty creative genius here_______________)   and it makes me dizzy with the esteemed company I keep within my chosen field.

I strive to be a Hepburn  (or a Garbo, Baker, Lupino, Kelly, Hayworth, Horne, Maclaine, Davis, Loy, Colbert, Leigh, Taylor, Pickford, Dandridge, etc…you get my drift)….. constantly aiming for that level of grace and class, talent and PRESENCE.

They say luck is opportunity meeting preparedness.   Without a doubt the ladies in my circle are prepared…here’s hoping many delicious opportunities to shine are just around the corner for all of us.

Auditions. A.K.A: Delicious Torture

So I’ll post some juicy stories on past auditions in a bit – but for now just wanted to write some general thoughts about the process.

Auditions are evil.  And amazing.  And frustrating, scary, thrilling etc. They are a bit like gambling, or playing the lottery as they are 5 minutes that can change your life.  They are also terribly pedestrian. You walk into a room. You say some stuff.  You walk out.   But what you say and how you say it – both on script and in general – can completely change your future. There is a lot riding on what happens in that 5 minutes.

Every time I book a job, I am astounded by how easy it is.  Wait, that 5 minutes was it? That was all it took? And every time I don’t book a job that I wanted, I endlessly runimate on why not. What could I have done differently? What did I do wrong – or not as right as someone else?  It’s the same 5 minutes.  Even though those 5 minutes are ‘all about you’…the  reason you do or do not book a job is often not about you at all. There are so many things that go into the equation – that you have no control over. So you have to walk in, kill it…and then let it go.  That is hard to do.  You do your damndest not to get your hopes up – but you can’t help it. You do your damndest to not feel like dirt when you are convinced it went poorly…but you can’t help it.
So…its about jedi mind tricking yourself. You must invest enough in the material to give 100% to the moment…but find a way to ‘not care’ enough to let go of it entirely the moment you leave the room. This is something I’m still trying to master.